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Joined: 09/01/1996 Posts: 49069
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Re: I know it is there

But I wonder if that causes more stress for her? I've known families that can't accept what is happening and so they try to "help" by constantly reminding their loved one of what is happening, who people are, trying to help them remember things...hoping that it will trigger something. And then sometimes that loved one acts out, even physically because of the added stress.

You know the love she has for you is still there...just let it be. Continue to love and care for her as best you can, not expecting anything in return.

When my almost 90 year old Mom had hip replacement surgery and she wasn't doing well, I tried to keep her going, being there, encouraging her at PT sessions while she struggled in terrible discomfort and exhaustion (now I know how that really feels!) and one day after running to the cafeteria, I brought her some peach flavored tea...and she drank some, made a face and told me..."E, you're trying too hard"...I asked.."what do you mean?" and she said it again..."you're trying too hard". I told her.."I'm not ready to give up on you"...she just rolled over and went to sleep. A few days later, she had some kind of internal bleed and they knew she wasn't going to recover, although they didn't tell us in so many words. That afternoon and early evening, I sat with her while she "slept" thanks to pain meds and I decided I would not impede her...if she was ready to go, then I would let her go. And that's what happened, very slowly. I called the family, they all came and we watched her take her last breath. But I had learned when it was time for me to stop trying too hard, thanks to her.

(In response to this post by buffdad)

Posted: 03/31/2016 at 1:42PM


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  Re: I know it is there -- Gateway 03/31/2016 1:42PM
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